All in the Family Feud

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 36 seconds

I was flipping through the channels when I came across the middle portion of an episode of the (all new) Family Feud.

I mention the flipping part just to emphasize that I do not make a habit of watching game shows. Not even the ones with smart people, like Jeopardy!, hosted by the ambassador of perceived intelligence, Alex Trebek.

(Over the years I’ve come to believe that most game shows offer little more than a distraction, an activity that requires an amount of brain activity comparable to that of a plastic elephant. They are the types of shows that you innocently come across in a bout of boredom. Thirty minutes later you say “What just happened” as you self-loathe from the wasted time and contemplate how you gained nothing from the occasion, experiencing the same feeling you had a week earlier when you ate yourself sick on Krackel and Mr. Goodbars.)

What happened during the Family Feud did nothing to change any feelings I had about game shows.

The category was “Countries Besides the United States that Americans Most Admire.”

The top six answers were on the board. Already guessed correctly when I joined the show were:
1. England
2. Italy
3. Canada
4. France
5. Australia

The first family continued to guess.

“Spain!”
[X]

“China!”
[X]

“Japan!”
[X]

Ooh, soohry, as Alex Trebek might say, his Canadian accent poking slightly through.

As the rules of the Feud demand, it was now the second family’s turn to Steal. The family collaborates on one answer and if that answer is on the board, they win the round. In classic Feud fashion, each family member shouts out what they perceive to be the best answer. It is then the family leader’s ultimate decision on a final answer that he submits to the host.

When the family began shouting answers that I presumed they had discussed during their preceding huddle, I became horrified.

“Name a country besides the United States that Americans most admire,” repeated host Richard Karn, also known as Tim Allen’s dopey, flannel-shirt wearing sidekick from TV’s Home Improvement.

“Africa!” shouted one family member.

Perhaps they mean South Africa? I guessed in bewilderment.

“Europe!” another member of the team yelled.

OK seriously. Please be joking. They were not.

With a tone of confidence, the family’s entrusted leader offered his final answer. He spoke firmly with conviction.

“Europe.”

Host Richard contained his desire to shriek in terror, glancing more than once to the judges to see if the answer would be accepted or if the show would politely and humanely clarify the question, giving the family a chance to pull its name out of the crapper.

Unfortunately, he had to go through the embarrassing motions.

“Show meeeee Europe!”

What was not clear were some of the other answers discussed in the family’s huddle.

Asia and Antarctica, for sure.

I suspect Space and The World were also kicked around. Because, after all, those places are so incredibly admirable.