Another Heart Attack

About a conversation I overheard in the grocery store yesterday:

Two men in their late 60s or early 70s bump into each other in the dairy section. It appears to have been some time since they last saw one another. I hear snippets of greetings and something about finally being retired as I pass them on the way to the egg case. I pick up a carton of brown, organic, cage-frees and check to see if any are broken. As I make my way back toward the two men, I hear this treasure of an exchange:

Man No. 1: So what have you been up to?
Man No. 2: Not a whole lot. Had me another heart attack.
Man No. 1: Oh did you?
Man No. 2: Uh-huh.

The tone of this conversation was so casual, teetering on the verge of boredom. Man No. 2 could just as well have said he joined a bowling league. "Had me another heart attack" could have been substituted with "Got me a new riding mower" and nothing about the conversation -- the tone, the friend's response -- would have changed.

So that's what this old-timer's been up to? That's how he constitutes passing the days? He not only has had himself a heart attack, he's had himself another heart attack. By watching commercials for prescription medicine and retirement funds, you'd think all retired folk do is ride 3-speed bikes, play upper-class sports while wearing diapers and cherish their grandchildren between the preparation of home-cooked meals in sunshiny kitchens.

I would at least have expected a little more incredulousness from both men. I mean, this was not the first but at least the second time that no blood flowed anywhere near one of his four delicate, life-enabling chambers as the No. 1 worldwide cause of death for humans perhaps very nearly claimed another victim.

I should have eavesdropped a little longer to see how the conversation progressed. My guess is that it went something like so:

So what have you been up to?
Not a whole lot. Had me another heart attack.
Oh did you?
Uh-huh.
Was it serious?
Was what serious?
Your heart attack.
Oh. I suppose. [awkward pause] You see they have bacon and canned biscuits on special this week?
Is that right.
Uh-huh.