Savagely funny unintentional comedy

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 14 seconds

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard it.

We attended a concert for the first time at the Mohegan Sun Arena which lies on the Mohegan Indian Reservation in Uncasville, CT. In addition to the 10,000-seat arena, the complex boasts the nation's second largest casino not to mention a hotel, shopping and fine dining and buffets to match. The reservation was about an hour from our house but Paul Simon is easily worth an hour and possibly up to 3 1/2 hours for my money.

Tickets in hand, we stood in a herd of concert-goers to enter the arena. As we filed through, a recorded voice gave the rundown of the ground rules. No outside food, no bottles, no firearms, no beach balls. Blah, blah blah.

But it was when the voice discussed the policy on reselling tickets at a price higher than one had paid that perked our ears .

". . . and please be reminded," the voice chimed, "Scalping is prohibited anywhere on the reservation."

With eyes a tad bigger and eyebrows a bit higher, we immediately faced each other. "Did I just hear what I. . .Did you just. . .Don't they realize. . ."

SCALPING IS PROHIBITED ON THE RESERVATION!

When else in my lifetime will this phrase be delivered in a more honest, respectable, serious and straightforward fashion? I can't possibly imagine.