Assorted thoughts of no particular importance

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 22 seconds

Free-Throw Routines

Nearly every basketball player has some elaborate routine they go through each time they shoot free throws.

For one guy it's four quick bounces in front then one methodical bounce to the right. Shoot.

For another guy it's five slow bounces, clutch the ball staring at the rim, take a deep breath, assume shooting position, knees bent with emphasis. Shoot.

Another player doesn't bounce it at all but employs a dramatic spin before he shoots.

There are as many different free-throw routines as there are players.

I'm assuming these routines, followed with remarkable accuracy, are two parts rhythm – a way to keep things consistent at the line – and one superstition.

This all makes sense . . . for someone who shoots 86 percent.

But guys who are shooting in the 50s? Doing the same thing at the line every time? C'mon. Shake it up. That little thing you do where you rotate the ball so that your hand rests on the same part each time before you send the ball bouncing off the rim has gotten you a deplorable 46 percent clip from the free throw line.

On Vomiting

How come whenever people throw up in movies they always a) sit or kneel on the bathroom floor; b) stick their entire head or face into the toilet c) rest their arms on the dirtiest part of the toilet as they vomit?

Granted I don't throw up as often as people tend to in movies, but when I do I am always standing with my face at least a foot and a half away from anything I had just urinated into within the last 24 hours.

Game Idea

I want to come up with a board game for people to play when they call in sick to work but aren't really sick.

I'm not sure what to call it.

Vague Fortune Cookies

I got a fortune cookie the other day that said "Taking chances may bring success."

May bring success? May?

What kind of vague, on the fence fortune is that?

Why not just say "Taking chances may or may not bring success."

If you're are going to be vague about whether or not taking chances will bring success, at least be specific about something.

Drink four beers before going to work. Your relaxed demeanor may take the edge off a tense workplace and see that your efficiency and creativity skyrocket. Or you may unexpectedly get somewhat aggressive and confrontational over a co-worker's innocent question about punctuation. They smell alcohol on your breath and send you shamefully home in a cab, immediately putting you on unpaid administrative leave.