The Go-Tart

Estimated reading time: 50 seconds

Today's topic: Kellogg's new version of the Pop-Tart, the Go-Tart.

The two products are made of the same goodness: mysteriously consistent crust, high-fructose laden fruit-like filling and the party-themed candy-coated top.

The only difference between the old and the new is the shape.

The Pop-Tart insists on sticking with its bulky, 3x4-inch rectangular travesty, a shape that hit its peak in the early 80s. The Go-Tart, on the other hand, takes the shape of the sleeker, more hip, and possibly healthier, Butterfinger.

The enhanced, streamlined contour makes the Go-Tart much easier to handle, easier to "grab and go," a joy to consume while operating a car and way more convenient to stuff into a purse, backpack or your giant, fat, salivating child's mouth.

My only take on this: Thank God. Anything they could do to make those clunky, complicated and hard-to-grasp Pop-Tarts easier to eat with a 21^st century, on-the-go, not-enough-time-to-hassle-with-a-POP-TART-anymore lifestyle would be a much welcomed improvement.

Just for the kids out there, here is the Go-Tart ingredient list:

ENRICHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMIN MONONITRATE [VITAMIN B1], RIBOFLAVIN [VITAMIN B2], FOLIC ACID), HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, SUGAR, VEGETABLE OIL (SOYBEAN, COTTONSEED AND HYDROGENATED COTTONSEED OIL† WITH TBHQ AND CITRIC ACID FOR FRESHNESS), CONTAINS TWO PERCENT OR LESS OF GLYCERIN, STRAWBERRY PUREE CONCENTRATE, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, CORNSTARCH, PEAR PUREE CONCENTRATE, SALT, APPLE PUREE CONCENTRATE, TAPIOCA STARCH, APPLE POWDER, LEAVENING (BAKING SODA, SODIUM ALUMINUM PHOSPHATE), NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, DEXTROSE, MONO- AND DIGLYCERIDES, CELLULOSE GEL, SODIUM STEAROYL LACTYLATE, MILLED CORN, CORN SYRUP, MALIC ACID, CARAMEL COLOR, PROPYLENE GLYCOL ALGINATE, DATEM, CELLULOSE GUM, WHEY PROTEIN ISOLATE, CORN SYRUP SOLIDS, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN AND/OR COTTONSEED OIL†, RED #40, VITAMIN A PALMITATE, CITRIC ACID, COLOR ADDED, NIACINAMIDE, REDUCED IRON, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B6), RIBOFLAVIN (VITAMIN B2), THIAMIN HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B1), TRICALCIUM PHOSPHATE, TURMERIC COLOR, FOLIC ACID, BLUE #1, SOY LECITHIN.